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starsficNote to self: the paragraph breaks at 750 words don't transfer well. Also, okay, some things really should be edited. This includes anything that I write with my eyes closed. Oh, and! I might have guessed the Mickey Mouse bear was a real thing!
Thanks Mouse Planet!
This, I think, will be my last post-sky trilogy snippet before attempting a completely made-up, unofficial, not-for-points![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
au_bingo blackout card. The entire card will take place in the sky!verse (thanks marcicat ♥) starting probably a few hours after this story ends.
My Charade Is the Event of the Season
Sam was talking to a civilian when Gabriel appeared beside him with all the subtlety of a plane coming in to land. A comparison Gabriel would probably take exception to, but since he'd just interrupted Sam's meeting with law enforcement, Sam wasn't inclined to be generous.
"Gabriel," he said. "I know we've talked about this."
"What?" Gabriel said. "I'll give her the flashy thing treatment; it'll be fine. Come on, Sam, when have I ever inconvenienced you for no reason?"
"Aside from now?" Sam rolled his eyes. "Try always."
"Just because you don't understand my reasons," Gabriel told him, "that doesn't mean they don't exist. Here," he added, thrusting something at Sam. "Hold this."
The reflex to grab anything being shoved at him was long gone, and Sam knew better than to ask Gabriel what it was. "Why?" he said instead, bypassing the logical question for the one more likely to keep him from getting killed. Either accidentally or on purpose.
"Because," Gabriel said. "I trust you."
Sam blinked. His hands came up to hold whatever it was that Gabriel pushed into his chest just before he disappeared, and damn it, he'd thought that reflex was safely buried. The only good thing was that Gabriel had kept his promise - for once - and the animal control officer was blinking at the paper Sam suddenly found himself in possession of.
"Where did you get that?" she asked, and Sam's fingers tightened around it carefully. It wasn't paper. It was papyrus.
"Had it in my pocket," he said. "So. What else do I need for my exotic reptile permit?"
Which of course was when Sachiel appeared, looking awesome and angelic and furious in a way he'd never seen before. She actually hesitated when she saw Sam, and he figured that was... a good thing?
"Sam," she said, with a voice like lightning. "Have you seen Gabriel?"
"Yeah," he said, holding up the scroll. "He left this."
"The list." Sachiel looked like she wanted to be relieved but wasn't at all. "I'm sure he's memorized it by now. We'll have to scrap it and start over."
"What is it?" Sam asked curiously. He knew better than to open random scrolls, especially ones that Gabriel had handed to him, but he couldn't help wanting to know.
"The children's schedule," she said.
Of course. What else would Gabriel bother stealing.
They'd made a list - Sam thought of it as the babysitters' duty roster - so that everyone who wanted a chance to see and teach the newest angels could register their time in advance. It had been Dean's idea: apparently he was still human enough to be ticked off when angels showed up to abduct his kid at all hours of the day and night. As far as Sam could tell, it wasn’t that his brother disliked the idea of other people doing the parenting, he just wished they wouldn't bother him about it.
As with so many other things, Dean had tried to pin responsibility for executing the list on Sam, which Sam had pointed out was stupid since only the angels who had vessels would be able to talk to him. Dean said this was totally untrue, but Sam still refused and finally Cas had stepped in. He'd offered to be in charge of The List, and he did have a vested interest, so even when Dean claimed Cas had too many other things to do he didn't put up much of a fuss.
Sam thought having to rely on just one person for sex was teaching Dean how to compromise. He'd never been great at long-term relationships, partly for the obvious reasons of the road, but also because Dean had never really learned how not to piss people off. They always forgave him, after all, so what did he care? If one in a hundred didn’t let him off the hook, he had ninety-nine more in line behind them.
"You want it back, then," Sam said. He probably didn't want to know how Gabriel had ended up with the list in the first place.
No, that wasn't true. He did want to know. He was willing to bet it involved some subterfuge and a fair bit of bribing and cajoling people who weren't supposed to be talking to him. If he'd dumped it off with Sam without asking, though, he'd better not be expecting to get it back.
"No," Sachiel said, to his suprise. "If Gabriel’s seen it, we can’t use it.”
She looked like she was about to vanish, but before she went she cast a mostly uncaring look at the woman he’d been talking to. “Do you need any help here, Sam?”
Now they asked. “We have a dragon living at the Roadhouse,” he said, not because he thought it meant anything to her but because he was tired of everyone ignoring it. “There are laws about that, if anyone cares.”
Sachiel looked vaguely interested. “You have laws about the care and feeding of dragons?”
The woman he was talking to must have had enough, because she informed them, “Keeping komodo dragons as pets is illegal. No license is going to change that.”
Sam sighed. “Okay, look. Are the kids in trouble?”
“Not yet,” Sachiel said, eyes narrowed like she was already planning ways to smite Gabriel in his sleep.
“Good.” Sam turned to the woman behind the desk. “Thanks for your time,” he told her. “And I’m sorry about all this.”
She frowned, and he knew he was lucky she hadn’t already flipped out on them. Sach had flown into her office, after all. Plus she probably thought they were exotic pet traffickers or something. She was actually pretty calm, considering.
“Sach,” he said, before she could prove him wrong. “Can you make sure she doesn’t remember us being here? I’ll meet you outside.”
“Now wait a minute,” the woman began, but Sam was already on his way out.
Sach was in the parking lot when he emerged, and he’d managed to teach her something about humans because she was standing just outside the range of the security cameras. “Want a ride somewhere?” she offered.
“I’ve got one,” he said. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Nothing, as it turned out. At least, nothing according to Sam, who was pretty sure Gabriel was just being his usual obnoxious self. So he stole the babysitting list. It was guaranteed to send the greatest number of people into a frenzy with the least amount of effort on his part. It wasn’t like he had to do anything with it. As Sachiel had just proven, he didn’t even have to hold onto it.
It was actually, though Sam knew better than to admit it to anyone, kind of clever.
It also wasn’t the first thing Gabriel had done to piss everyone off, and no way would it be the last. He seemed to be biding his time, trying to lull Sam into complacency by pranking everyone except him. Sam had known what he was getting into when he offered to help Dean get back at Gabriel for the amnesia thing, but he hadn’t expected Gabriel to be quite so... nice about it. He’d expected lulling, yeah, but he’d figured it would be full of Gabriel smirking and making vague threats and generally pretending he was about to do something terrible at any second – until Sam decided he was all talk, and then the trap would be sprung.
Instead, Gabriel seemed to be making nice: playing little tricks that were more of a calling card than actual pranks. Sticking Sam with the list he’d stolen, sending him a dozen roses with a note that said “from Dean” attached, snapping a puppy into existence and asking Sam to walk it for him. Things that reminded Sam who he was dealing with.
Not that he needed the reminder; they worked together day and night and he saw way too much of Gabriel as it was. But now it seemed like he couldn’t even watch TV or go for a drink (or apparently, interact with anyone in the world, civilian or not) without Gabriel popping in to... be himself. It was starting to weird Sam out a little.
He’d forced Dean to get his own room by the simple expedient of moving out of their shared room himself, because he was tired of waking up and seeing wings tangled everywhere on a too-small bed. He figured once he left they’d just magic it bigger or something. Plus he got a bigger bed in a single room, and he didn’t have to deal with Dean’s crap everywhere... so when he walked in and saw a huge Mickey Mouse bear in the chair by the window it was just the last straw.
“Castiel,” he said aloud. “Come here, please.”
Cas appeared beside him before he could finish turning his head. It was a power Sam abused mercilessly with Dean, but he tried to at least look apologetic when he summoned someone else.
“Sorry,” Sam added, for good measure. “Question: is that giant stuffed bear explosive, radioactive, or otherwise hazardous to my health?”
Castiel glanced at it. “The one that says ‘Mickey Mouse’ on it?” he asked, like there were multiple giant stuffed bears in the room and he wanted to be sure they were talking about the same one.
“Yes,” Sam said, trying not to roll his eyes. “That one.”
“It doesn’t look harmful,” Castiel said.
Sam knew it didn’t look harmful, because if it had looked harmful he would have shot it first and yelled for Cas second. He also knew that Castiel could see it a lot more clearly than he could. “Why is it here?”
Castiel tilted his head. “The note attached to its uppermost appendages appears to have been signed by Gabriel.”
Sam strode over to the bear and yanked the card free from its clasped paws. So you just found out your brother’s the archangel Michael, it read. What are you going to do next?
He stared at it for a long moment, because Gabriel’s jokes might possibly be escalating. Just not in the expected direction.
Don’t feel bad, Sam had told him, when Gabriel had accepted his participation in their angelic prank war. I know how hard it is to think straight around me. He’d expected Gabriel to snicker, to scoff at such a suggestion at least. More likely, he’d figured, Gabriel would put him in his place then and there and Dean would either retaliate in his name or laugh at him. Depending on what method Gabriel chose.
Sam hadn’t expected there to be no method. Gabriel had just smiled and looked down at the counter, like...
“Cas,” Sam said. It sounded stupid in his head, and he was pretty sure it was going to sound worse out loud. But seriously. Gabriel had said I trust you. What did that even mean? “Does Gabriel – like me?” he asked carefully.
Castiel gave the question enough consideration that Sam felt slightly less ridiculous for asking. “I don’t believe Gabriel is capable of caring about humans on an individual basis,” he said at last. “It seems more likely that this is some sort of elaborate deception on his part, perhaps relating to his prank war with Dean.”
“Yeah,” Sam said, frowning. Castiel had gotten a handle on that whole situation pretty quickly. “That’s what I thought.”
And yet.
Really? Not capable?
“Your flashy thing trick is flashy thing-less,” Sam told Gabriel later, while Gabriel was pretending to write an inventory report in something that was definitely not English. Sam knew he was pretending because Gabriel never wrote reports, just generated any lists they needed out of thin air and possibly direct thought transference from his mind to a piece of paper. “Also, you’re leaving me presents.”
“Oh, do you like them?” Gabriel gave him a bright, too-innocent smile from across the counter. “What’s your favorite color?”
That wasn’t what he’d expected. “Uh...” He probably shouldn’t even try. “White, I guess?”
Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Well, that won’t look good in a lipstick,” he said. He bent his head over his “report” again, and Sam frowned at it.
“Is that Sanskrit?” Sam demanded. “I hope you’re not planning to give that to me when you’re done and have me do anything meaningful with it.”
“You recognized the language,” Gabriel said without looking up. “Smarter than you look, Sammy boy.”
“Gabriel.” Sam glared at him. “Seriously, what are you doing?”
“Playing a trick.” Gabriel rolled his eyes, waving his pen around dramatically. “Thought you’d know one when you saw one. Gonna have to take away ten smart points for that, Sambino.”
“What kind of trick?” Sam insisted.
Gabriel gave him a look like he had no smart points at all. “The kind where I know what it is, and you don’t. Hello! What kind of prank war do you think this is?”
“You can’t lull me,” Sam informed him. “I don’t lull.”
“Oh, Sam, you wound me!” Gabriel beamed at him, the disappointed expression melting easily into false cheer. “Have a chocolate!”
There were suddenly chocolates on the counter. The Roadhouse was full of supernatural beings, though; the party tricks couldn’t surprise him anymore. What did surprise him was the fact that Gabriel didn’t stick around to eat all of it himself. Gabriel didn’t even wait to see if Sam would fall for it – whatever it was. He just tipped his head like he was hearing something on angel radio, said “gotta go,” and disappeared with a gentle gust that barely stirred the candy wrappers.
Leaving Sam with chocolate he wouldn’t touch, a list he couldn’t read, and more questions than he’d started with.
Thanks Mouse Planet!
This, I think, will be my last post-sky trilogy snippet before attempting a completely made-up, unofficial, not-for-points
au_bingo blackout card. The entire card will take place in the sky!verse (thanks marcicat ♥) starting probably a few hours after this story ends.Sam was talking to a civilian when Gabriel appeared beside him with all the subtlety of a plane coming in to land. A comparison Gabriel would probably take exception to, but since he'd just interrupted Sam's meeting with law enforcement, Sam wasn't inclined to be generous.
"Gabriel," he said. "I know we've talked about this."
"What?" Gabriel said. "I'll give her the flashy thing treatment; it'll be fine. Come on, Sam, when have I ever inconvenienced you for no reason?"
"Aside from now?" Sam rolled his eyes. "Try always."
"Just because you don't understand my reasons," Gabriel told him, "that doesn't mean they don't exist. Here," he added, thrusting something at Sam. "Hold this."
The reflex to grab anything being shoved at him was long gone, and Sam knew better than to ask Gabriel what it was. "Why?" he said instead, bypassing the logical question for the one more likely to keep him from getting killed. Either accidentally or on purpose.
"Because," Gabriel said. "I trust you."
Sam blinked. His hands came up to hold whatever it was that Gabriel pushed into his chest just before he disappeared, and damn it, he'd thought that reflex was safely buried. The only good thing was that Gabriel had kept his promise - for once - and the animal control officer was blinking at the paper Sam suddenly found himself in possession of.
"Where did you get that?" she asked, and Sam's fingers tightened around it carefully. It wasn't paper. It was papyrus.
"Had it in my pocket," he said. "So. What else do I need for my exotic reptile permit?"
Which of course was when Sachiel appeared, looking awesome and angelic and furious in a way he'd never seen before. She actually hesitated when she saw Sam, and he figured that was... a good thing?
"Sam," she said, with a voice like lightning. "Have you seen Gabriel?"
"Yeah," he said, holding up the scroll. "He left this."
"The list." Sachiel looked like she wanted to be relieved but wasn't at all. "I'm sure he's memorized it by now. We'll have to scrap it and start over."
"What is it?" Sam asked curiously. He knew better than to open random scrolls, especially ones that Gabriel had handed to him, but he couldn't help wanting to know.
"The children's schedule," she said.
Of course. What else would Gabriel bother stealing.
They'd made a list - Sam thought of it as the babysitters' duty roster - so that everyone who wanted a chance to see and teach the newest angels could register their time in advance. It had been Dean's idea: apparently he was still human enough to be ticked off when angels showed up to abduct his kid at all hours of the day and night. As far as Sam could tell, it wasn’t that his brother disliked the idea of other people doing the parenting, he just wished they wouldn't bother him about it.
As with so many other things, Dean had tried to pin responsibility for executing the list on Sam, which Sam had pointed out was stupid since only the angels who had vessels would be able to talk to him. Dean said this was totally untrue, but Sam still refused and finally Cas had stepped in. He'd offered to be in charge of The List, and he did have a vested interest, so even when Dean claimed Cas had too many other things to do he didn't put up much of a fuss.
Sam thought having to rely on just one person for sex was teaching Dean how to compromise. He'd never been great at long-term relationships, partly for the obvious reasons of the road, but also because Dean had never really learned how not to piss people off. They always forgave him, after all, so what did he care? If one in a hundred didn’t let him off the hook, he had ninety-nine more in line behind them.
"You want it back, then," Sam said. He probably didn't want to know how Gabriel had ended up with the list in the first place.
No, that wasn't true. He did want to know. He was willing to bet it involved some subterfuge and a fair bit of bribing and cajoling people who weren't supposed to be talking to him. If he'd dumped it off with Sam without asking, though, he'd better not be expecting to get it back.
"No," Sachiel said, to his suprise. "If Gabriel’s seen it, we can’t use it.”
She looked like she was about to vanish, but before she went she cast a mostly uncaring look at the woman he’d been talking to. “Do you need any help here, Sam?”
Now they asked. “We have a dragon living at the Roadhouse,” he said, not because he thought it meant anything to her but because he was tired of everyone ignoring it. “There are laws about that, if anyone cares.”
Sachiel looked vaguely interested. “You have laws about the care and feeding of dragons?”
The woman he was talking to must have had enough, because she informed them, “Keeping komodo dragons as pets is illegal. No license is going to change that.”
Sam sighed. “Okay, look. Are the kids in trouble?”
“Not yet,” Sachiel said, eyes narrowed like she was already planning ways to smite Gabriel in his sleep.
“Good.” Sam turned to the woman behind the desk. “Thanks for your time,” he told her. “And I’m sorry about all this.”
She frowned, and he knew he was lucky she hadn’t already flipped out on them. Sach had flown into her office, after all. Plus she probably thought they were exotic pet traffickers or something. She was actually pretty calm, considering.
“Sach,” he said, before she could prove him wrong. “Can you make sure she doesn’t remember us being here? I’ll meet you outside.”
“Now wait a minute,” the woman began, but Sam was already on his way out.
Sach was in the parking lot when he emerged, and he’d managed to teach her something about humans because she was standing just outside the range of the security cameras. “Want a ride somewhere?” she offered.
“I’ve got one,” he said. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Nothing, as it turned out. At least, nothing according to Sam, who was pretty sure Gabriel was just being his usual obnoxious self. So he stole the babysitting list. It was guaranteed to send the greatest number of people into a frenzy with the least amount of effort on his part. It wasn’t like he had to do anything with it. As Sachiel had just proven, he didn’t even have to hold onto it.
It was actually, though Sam knew better than to admit it to anyone, kind of clever.
It also wasn’t the first thing Gabriel had done to piss everyone off, and no way would it be the last. He seemed to be biding his time, trying to lull Sam into complacency by pranking everyone except him. Sam had known what he was getting into when he offered to help Dean get back at Gabriel for the amnesia thing, but he hadn’t expected Gabriel to be quite so... nice about it. He’d expected lulling, yeah, but he’d figured it would be full of Gabriel smirking and making vague threats and generally pretending he was about to do something terrible at any second – until Sam decided he was all talk, and then the trap would be sprung.
Instead, Gabriel seemed to be making nice: playing little tricks that were more of a calling card than actual pranks. Sticking Sam with the list he’d stolen, sending him a dozen roses with a note that said “from Dean” attached, snapping a puppy into existence and asking Sam to walk it for him. Things that reminded Sam who he was dealing with.
Not that he needed the reminder; they worked together day and night and he saw way too much of Gabriel as it was. But now it seemed like he couldn’t even watch TV or go for a drink (or apparently, interact with anyone in the world, civilian or not) without Gabriel popping in to... be himself. It was starting to weird Sam out a little.
He’d forced Dean to get his own room by the simple expedient of moving out of their shared room himself, because he was tired of waking up and seeing wings tangled everywhere on a too-small bed. He figured once he left they’d just magic it bigger or something. Plus he got a bigger bed in a single room, and he didn’t have to deal with Dean’s crap everywhere... so when he walked in and saw a huge Mickey Mouse bear in the chair by the window it was just the last straw.
“Castiel,” he said aloud. “Come here, please.”
Cas appeared beside him before he could finish turning his head. It was a power Sam abused mercilessly with Dean, but he tried to at least look apologetic when he summoned someone else.
“Sorry,” Sam added, for good measure. “Question: is that giant stuffed bear explosive, radioactive, or otherwise hazardous to my health?”
Castiel glanced at it. “The one that says ‘Mickey Mouse’ on it?” he asked, like there were multiple giant stuffed bears in the room and he wanted to be sure they were talking about the same one.
“Yes,” Sam said, trying not to roll his eyes. “That one.”
“It doesn’t look harmful,” Castiel said.
Sam knew it didn’t look harmful, because if it had looked harmful he would have shot it first and yelled for Cas second. He also knew that Castiel could see it a lot more clearly than he could. “Why is it here?”
Castiel tilted his head. “The note attached to its uppermost appendages appears to have been signed by Gabriel.”
Sam strode over to the bear and yanked the card free from its clasped paws. So you just found out your brother’s the archangel Michael, it read. What are you going to do next?
He stared at it for a long moment, because Gabriel’s jokes might possibly be escalating. Just not in the expected direction.
Don’t feel bad, Sam had told him, when Gabriel had accepted his participation in their angelic prank war. I know how hard it is to think straight around me. He’d expected Gabriel to snicker, to scoff at such a suggestion at least. More likely, he’d figured, Gabriel would put him in his place then and there and Dean would either retaliate in his name or laugh at him. Depending on what method Gabriel chose.
Sam hadn’t expected there to be no method. Gabriel had just smiled and looked down at the counter, like...
“Cas,” Sam said. It sounded stupid in his head, and he was pretty sure it was going to sound worse out loud. But seriously. Gabriel had said I trust you. What did that even mean? “Does Gabriel – like me?” he asked carefully.
Castiel gave the question enough consideration that Sam felt slightly less ridiculous for asking. “I don’t believe Gabriel is capable of caring about humans on an individual basis,” he said at last. “It seems more likely that this is some sort of elaborate deception on his part, perhaps relating to his prank war with Dean.”
“Yeah,” Sam said, frowning. Castiel had gotten a handle on that whole situation pretty quickly. “That’s what I thought.”
And yet.
Really? Not capable?
“Your flashy thing trick is flashy thing-less,” Sam told Gabriel later, while Gabriel was pretending to write an inventory report in something that was definitely not English. Sam knew he was pretending because Gabriel never wrote reports, just generated any lists they needed out of thin air and possibly direct thought transference from his mind to a piece of paper. “Also, you’re leaving me presents.”
“Oh, do you like them?” Gabriel gave him a bright, too-innocent smile from across the counter. “What’s your favorite color?”
That wasn’t what he’d expected. “Uh...” He probably shouldn’t even try. “White, I guess?”
Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Well, that won’t look good in a lipstick,” he said. He bent his head over his “report” again, and Sam frowned at it.
“Is that Sanskrit?” Sam demanded. “I hope you’re not planning to give that to me when you’re done and have me do anything meaningful with it.”
“You recognized the language,” Gabriel said without looking up. “Smarter than you look, Sammy boy.”
“Gabriel.” Sam glared at him. “Seriously, what are you doing?”
“Playing a trick.” Gabriel rolled his eyes, waving his pen around dramatically. “Thought you’d know one when you saw one. Gonna have to take away ten smart points for that, Sambino.”
“What kind of trick?” Sam insisted.
Gabriel gave him a look like he had no smart points at all. “The kind where I know what it is, and you don’t. Hello! What kind of prank war do you think this is?”
“You can’t lull me,” Sam informed him. “I don’t lull.”
“Oh, Sam, you wound me!” Gabriel beamed at him, the disappointed expression melting easily into false cheer. “Have a chocolate!”
There were suddenly chocolates on the counter. The Roadhouse was full of supernatural beings, though; the party tricks couldn’t surprise him anymore. What did surprise him was the fact that Gabriel didn’t stick around to eat all of it himself. Gabriel didn’t even wait to see if Sam would fall for it – whatever it was. He just tipped his head like he was hearing something on angel radio, said “gotta go,” and disappeared with a gentle gust that barely stirred the candy wrappers.
Leaving Sam with chocolate he wouldn’t touch, a list he couldn’t read, and more questions than he’d started with.
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-27 10:07 am (UTC)Looking forward to reading! I'll be back...
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Date: 2010-06-27 05:07 pm (UTC)I like this story, I like your Gabriel, you have a perfect mix of trickster and serious. I like your Sam to, but it's Gabriel I've been focusing on...
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Date: 2010-06-27 09:46 pm (UTC)